With Hard Work and Love, Trevor and Dorothy Prove There Can be a Happy Ever After
Trevor had his accident in 1992. On Christmas Eve, he was cleaning windows from a high ladder, overreached and fell. What followed was years of rehabilitation, loss of employment and the breakup of his marriage and family life. He agreed with us to republish this story because he wants to get a very important message across.
Even Though Your Life is Altered, You Can Start to Rebuild What You’ve Lost
“I want to help people who have an Acquired Brain Injury (ABI) to know that after an ABI your life is completely altered and sometimes your friends and family are going to disappear. With understanding, effort and support, even though your life is altered, you can start to rebuild what you’ve lost and thought you’d never get back.”
Perseverance and Patience
“I joined Headway Essex in July 1993 after returning from what was a long and painful stay in hospital. They started on me straight away getting me involved in activities such as pottery craft building group therapy sessions and whatever else they thought would have been a help to me, which at the time I thought was of no use what so ever, but eventually made me feel as if progress was being made. Headway Essex helped me along the way to building a worthwhile life again. They had perseverance and patience that was put to the test many times by me.
Initially I thought, “No, this is not for me I am not of this caliber! My life was a lot different before, what are they going to be able to teach me?”
But, they took up the challenge and built me up to be able and willing to take part and become a help rather that a hindrance. My life had taken a turn which was not planned or practiced and at the time after having to come to terms with the fact that I had sustained a head injury found out that there was a place that could help fix a very uncertain life.”
A BBC Documentary was the Turning Point
It was 15 years later, when Trevor watched the BBC documentary ‘Recovery’ starring David Tennant, who played a highflying man knocked down by a van and suffering a severe brain injury. The programme especially demonstrated the pain and devastating effect the accident had on his wife and family.
The next day Trevor rang his ex-wife Dorothy to ask if she had seen the programme. She said she had and asked him what he had thought of it.
“Brilliant” was his reply. Then he said something which was to completely turn his life around, “I am really sorry” he said, “for all I put you and the children through. At last I have realised.” Dorothy sighed with relief and said “I have waited 15 years for you to say that.”
An Enduring Bond Between Them
They started seeing each other again and within 4 months, Trevor and Dorothy had remarried. Although in that time they had both changed, Dorothy had been self-sufficient supporting the family and Trevor had gone back to work and was living in his own flat. However, that enduring bond between them was still there and Trevor admits if they had not watched the programme this turning point in both their lives may never have happened.
Trevor concludes; “This year, 2020 marks the 40th year of us having known each other and we will have been married, this time round, longer than we were the first time.”
Headway Essex is here to help anyone who is struggling with the effects of ABI. If you need help, or would like to know more about our services, please call our helpline on 01206 845945 (option 3) or e-mail abisupport@headwayessex.org.uk.
